March 7, 2012

Just Stop

I've had a terrible mail biting habit for as long as I can remember.  I never had nice, long nails painted pretty colors.  I've never gotten a manicure.  My nails were tiny, chewed stubs on the ends on my fingers.  They looked gross.  They hurt.  My friends would paint their nails together and I would just sit there uncomfortably with my stubs.  I wanted to stop my habit but all my efforts were futile.  Gross flavored nail polishes didn't stop me, keeping my hands busy didn't keep them out of my mouth and no matter what anyone said I couldn't just stop.  

I hate that phrase.... just stop.  If I could just stop, don't you think I would've just stopped years ago?  

One day I got fed up with that phrase and not having nails.  So I coated my stubs in clear nail polish and made sure this would be the last time I tried to stop, because this time I would succeed.  And you know what?  I did!  Everyday was hard.  It's still hard.  Instead of nervously biting my nails I would just look at them.  It sounds weird but if I wanted to bite them I just stared at them instead until the feeling left.  

It's been about a month since I first said I needed to stop, and I have learned one thing - nails grow so slowly.  But I can paint them now!  They are finally pretty colors and not gross to look at!  I do have my moments of weakness (for example, I bit my thumb a little bit while I was writing this).  Oh, and I can't seem to stop biting two of my fingers-  my pointer fingers on each hand.   They'll stop being my vices soon, though.  My nails are painted a pretty shimmery white and I'm so thrilled.  Maybe I'll get a manicure.  

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